Is the fear of failure holding you back? Failure can be unwanted and uncomfortable. But ultimately, it’s necessary for success. If fear of making a mistake holds you back from attempting challenging things or doing hard jobs, you will plateau in your career and life. However, if you understand your fears more, you can overcome them.
Thomas Kolditz understands failure and fear. During his army career, he made dozens of mistakes that could have cost him his job. However, he was able to recover from his failures, learn from them, and ultimately rise in the ranks to be a Brigadier General.
So how can you overcome your fear of failure?
Fear of Failure Can Be Unlearned
The good news is that since fear of failure is a learned behavior, it can be unlearned. According to Kolditz, research has shown we learn about the fear of failure from our parents. Over time, watching our parents’ reactions to our successes and failures can either teach us to be too cautious or to be comfortable trying new things.
If you feel that you are too cautious, afraid of making mistakes or being a failure, you can overcome this fear with the proper coaching.
Embrace Guilt and Avoid Shame
One of the reasons we fear failure is we also fear feeling guilty or ashamed. According to Kolditz, guilt and shame can influence the way you lead and the tasks you choose to take on.
Guilt, as it turns out, is associated with slightly better leadership. It’s something you do to yourself. No one can make you feel guilty. Guilt can be good for your leadership and success because it makes you more conscientious. It means you’re holding yourself accountable for something. Guilt focuses you on your responsibilities and your team. So don’t worry about feeling guilty. It’s a natural part of being a conscientious leader.
Shame, on the other hand, is associated with less effective personal leadership. Only other people can same you. It can be a very destructive force within an organization. If you find yourself shaming someone else for a mistake or failure, check yourself. It’s probably not necessary. And, if that’s part of the culture you’re in, you might want to find another place to work.
Don’t Hide Your Failures
One of the best ways to get over your fear of failure is to stop hiding your failures. According to Koltditz, few people want to admit their failures to others. The tendency is to sweep them under the carpet or, even worse, blame those failings on others.
If you want to overcome your fear of failure, you will need to first need to admit it to yourself. Then admit it to others. You may think the people around you are more courageous or have never made a mistake, but that’s not the case. We have all failed at something. So find a colleague you trust in order to share your failures, reflect on them, and learn from them. By sharing your failures and learning from their failures, you can grow.
If you would like to learn more about leadership and overcoming the fear of failure, contact BigSpeak Speakers Bureau to book Tom Kolditz today.
